Coping with Comparison and Competition within the Writing Community

Most authors have a book they wish they’d written - a book that is so beautifully crafted they feel pangs of envy - mine was always Little Women by Louisa May Alcott and later The Power by Naomi Alderman.

In today’s world, as social media and online platforms provide unprecedented access to other people's work, what was once a brief fleeting of envy, is now a constant deluge of comparison and competition.

For an over-thinker like me, this can be disastrous. Hours fly by as I consume other people’s work rather than focusing on creating my own. 

A survey conducted by the Royal Society for Public Health (RSPH) and the Young Health Movement found that 70% of young people reported experiencing feelings of inadequacy after using social media so I know I’m not the only one. 

When we're constantly exposed to others' successes and achievements, it's challenging not to measure ourselves against them. That’s why I now sleep with my phone outside of the bedroom so other people’s content is not the first thing I consume. 

When I’m feeling good, which is luckily most days, this connectivity can be incredibly inspiring, but I’m aware the feelings of comparison and competition aren’t far away.

Here are five strategies I use when coping with comparison and competition within the writing community.

1. Accept

The first step in coping with comparison is acceptance. Acknowledge that it's natural to compare ourselves to others. It's a fundamental human trait that's been amplified by social media.

According to a study by the University of Pittsburgh, social media usage is significantly associated with increased depression and anxiety, largely due to constant social comparison.

Acceptance doesn't mean resigning to negative feelings but rather recognizing them without judgment. Accepting these feelings allows us to address them more constructively. Understand that every writer's journey is unique, with its own set of challenges and triumphs.

2. Reframe

Once we've accepted that comparison is natural, we can reframe how we view it. Instead of seeing other writers' successes as a threat, we can see them as sources of inspiration and learning. This shift in perspective can transform envy into motivation.

Consider the words of psychologist Carol Dweck, who developed the concept of the growth mindset: 

"The view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life." 

By adopting a growth mindset, we can see others' achievements as evidence that success is possible and within our reach, too. This reframing helps us to focus on our growth and improvement rather than feeling diminished by others' successes.

3. Unfollow

In the digital age, our social media feeds can be overwhelming and sometimes detrimental to our mental health. If you find that certain accounts trigger feelings of inadequacy or jealousy, it might be time to hit the unfollow, mute or unsubscribe button.

Unfollowing isn't about ignoring others' successes but about curating a healthier online environment. According to a survey by the Royal Society for Public Health, Instagram is the worst social media platform for mental health, largely due to the unrealistic portrayals of life and constant comparison it fosters.

Take control of your online experience by following accounts that inspire and uplift you, and don't hesitate to mute or unfollow those that don't.

4. Learn

Comparison can be constructive if we use it as an opportunity to learn. Instead of focusing on how you stack up against other writers, delve into what you can learn from them. Analyze their techniques, understand their paths to success, and see how you can apply those insights to your own work.

A study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that individuals who engage in proactive behavior, such as seeking feedback and learning from others, experience higher job satisfaction and career progression. Embrace a learner's mindset and use comparison as a tool for professional growth rather than self-criticism.

5. Refocus

Finally, it's essential to refocus on your own journey and goals. It's easy to get distracted by what others are doing, but remember why you started writing in the first place. Reconnect with your passion and the unique voice that you bring to the writing community.

Set personal goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART). This goal-setting framework can help you stay focused on your progress and reduce the temptation to compare yourself to others.

Celebrate your milestones, no matter how small, and keep track of your growth. By focusing on your path, you'll find more satisfaction and fulfillment in your writing journey because ultimately, there’s room for everyone to succeed. 

• What is the book you wish you’d written?

• How do you handle feelings of comparison in your writing journey? 

• What strategies have you found effective in staying focused on your goals?