Would you ever move to a new country?
What I’ve learnt after 2 years living in the USA.
In Dubai I was ‘an expat’, in Japan, a ‘gaijin’; in Italy, ‘uno straniero a tempo fisso’ and in the US ‘a resident alien’ (the latter being my favorite by far.) Basically, I’m someone who lives outside their country of origin (in my case, the UK).
This type of life is not for everyone (there are some definite downsides to living abroad) but for the most part, I’ve loved it and learnt a lot.
My most recent move was to New York and this month marks two years of living here - an exhilarating, roller-coaster of a ride, most of which was spent in the tourist spots of NYC or knee-deep in paperwork. Life has settled down a bit now and I think two years is a good amount of time to reflect on what I’ve learnt here.
A new environment is good for writing
Different people and places are great for inspiration and I’ve done a lot of personal writing here as well as met a lot of other writers.
A different way of communicating
In general, I’ve found New Yorkers to be direct and forth-coming - there’s little room for my British-esque politeness. The pace is fast and communication blunt (which may come across as rude to some) with a huge emphasis on working hard and networking harder. And yes, I’ve adopted American spelling and expressions (even after promising myself I wouldn’t!) But honestly, the hardest thing has been the switching of the months and days when writing dates. (Here, my birthday is 01/19 not 19th January). I have to double-check every invite to make sure I’m reading it properly.
To focus on the positive
I know it’s cliche, but about six months in, I developed a bad habit of negatively comparing the US to Dubai and the UK, complaining about everything from tipping to taxes. It’s normal but not always helpful. I needed to focus on the good things about the US of which there are many - the size of the houses (massive), the focus on neuro-diversity and inclusion, the job opportunities, the general optimism and enthusiasm of people here, and so much more. What I’ve learnt is that no country is perfect and it’s about finding the best in every situation.
Appreciation of different government systems
America is built on values such as liberty, free speech, inclusion of all religions, and due process of law. There is no monarchy like the UK or control of the press like Dubai. While there’s no perfect system (and American politics can be messy), I value this emphasis on freedom. (What would happen if all the world leaders got together and shared their most effective policies and laws for their people?!)
Liking my own company
Leaving the security of family and friends isn’t easy and living abroad can be lonely especially in the beginning when you don’t know anyone. I’ve learnt to be comfortable in my own company and learnt pretty quickly that it takes time to make new friends and build a community.
Bloom where you’re planted
NYC is an incredible place to visit but a tough city to live in especially with kids, however, I was determined to make the most of it and take advantage of every opportunity. After a year, we moved thirty minutes outside of Manhattan which suits my family much better.
Adjusting to a higher cost of living
I used to complain how expensive Dubai was but nothing compares to New York. While salaries are higher, rent, groceries, restaurants, the cinema, and kids’ activities are expensive and that’s before tax.
I cook more at home now compared to before (take-away or restaurant) and I don’t have home help (a huge adjustment from Dubai where maid services are much more affordable).
How to resist over-spending
The malls of Dubai were a shopper’s paradise but nothing compares to the sheer volume of goods in the USA. Half of Amazon’s sales come from the US - I’ve never experienced so much choice and the TikTok shop really doesn’t help.
Would you move to another country? Which one and why?
